Well, I did two 20-minute workouts this week, and today I can barely move. So much for working out every day in preparation for my New Year's dress....
It's sad that I am so out of shape that working out for a total of 40 minutes has almost put me in the nursing home....and today I have done nothing but bum it out in sweats in front of the TV. Oh, I made some cookies.....that's really gonna help my new "eating healthy" focus for the new year! It doesn't help that a cute little pug has been keeping me company and pretty much forcing me to lay on the couch. It's all your fault, Oscar....
Trying not to think about Monday, the Day of Depression, the Day Back to Work, the Day I Have to See My Students.....maybe it'll snow Sunday night and school will be cancelled!! One can always hope! It's a sign that I need to be doing something else....if only I knew what. Can't complain about the vacay time, though!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
New Year, New Focus
Well, a new year is almost here, and I'm ready to go! I'm feeling very focused on a couple of aspects of my life that need to be different. For instance, I've really let my working out and eating healthy goals slide in the past six months. Sure, moving, being "homeless" for two months, and adjusting to life back in Arkansas was partly to blame, but there's really no excuse for throwing away so much progress that I made at the beginning of 2010. So, that being said, I'm going for it again. Back to buying healthy foods, planning menus, making and taking time to work out regularly, back to bodyrock.tv, back to drinking water instead of diet coke, and back to respecting myself.
I'm also seriously thinking about what I need to do career-wise once this school year is over. I could teach again next year, but I'm probaby going to be very selective about where I even apply. I sort of want a change, but I'm not really sure yet what that change should be. Motherhood is looming over the horizon, but there's no guarantee that will happen this next year. I have a few options, but still praying/thinking about it.
Charlie and I may have found a new church home. We visited on Sunday, and we both felt like this could be the one. It will be so nice to become apart of a church we are excited about going to!
So, to sum up, I'm ready for this new year - 2011 is going to be a year of change, of challenging myself, of new beginnings. I can feel it! It's also the year I turn 30 - did I mention that??
I'm also seriously thinking about what I need to do career-wise once this school year is over. I could teach again next year, but I'm probaby going to be very selective about where I even apply. I sort of want a change, but I'm not really sure yet what that change should be. Motherhood is looming over the horizon, but there's no guarantee that will happen this next year. I have a few options, but still praying/thinking about it.
Charlie and I may have found a new church home. We visited on Sunday, and we both felt like this could be the one. It will be so nice to become apart of a church we are excited about going to!
So, to sum up, I'm ready for this new year - 2011 is going to be a year of change, of challenging myself, of new beginnings. I can feel it! It's also the year I turn 30 - did I mention that??
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Camelback, PA - Ski Trip #2
I tried my hand at skiing again last weekend. This time we went to Pennsylvania, to a place called Camelback. This mountain is smaller than the one at Sugarbush, and it was definitely not as intimidating. I didn't feel the initial nervousness that I felt from not knowing what to expect. And I had a private lesson this time instead of a group lesson. My instructor was so cool. His name is Kevin and he was gentle and encouraging. He distracted me so much that I didn't have time to be scared. Here's what I did this time that I didn't do the first time:
1. Go up the magic carpet.
2. Go down the bunny hill.
3. Turn both left and right.
4. Control my turns and link them together.
5. Stop.
6. Use the chair lift.
7. Go down a green!!!
I didn't believe that I was going to be able to do any of that, but I did. I was so excited, and so proud that I did it. I couldn't wait to show Charlie my new skills! I made myself a goal of going down the green at least ten times by the end of the day, and I did that as well. I'm still not comfortable completely, and I still need to get confidence, but I am way farther along than I expected to be at this point. It's such a mental game - and I psyched myself out. Now, at least, I won't dread skiing again!
1. Go up the magic carpet.
2. Go down the bunny hill.
3. Turn both left and right.
4. Control my turns and link them together.
5. Stop.
6. Use the chair lift.
7. Go down a green!!!
I didn't believe that I was going to be able to do any of that, but I did. I was so excited, and so proud that I did it. I couldn't wait to show Charlie my new skills! I made myself a goal of going down the green at least ten times by the end of the day, and I did that as well. I'm still not comfortable completely, and I still need to get confidence, but I am way farther along than I expected to be at this point. It's such a mental game - and I psyched myself out. Now, at least, I won't dread skiing again!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sugarbush - Skiing in Vermont
My first taste of skiing was yesterday morning, when I nervously strapped my rented boots on and awkwardly walked to the beginner's group lesson. I didn't know what to expect, but I had a feeling I was going to hate skiing. I never have had a desire to speed out of control down a mountain in freezing (or below) temperatures. I'm doing this for Charlie, who is also a beginning skier, but who loved skiing from the first trip down the bunny hill.
What I discovered two hours later was this:
1. Skiing is HARD WORK!!
2. Ski boots are not comfortable.
3. I am not a natural skier.
4. I didn't hate skiing, but I definitely am going to have to take baby baby steps to develop a love for it.
I didn't make it to the "magic carpet" and there was no way I was ready for even the bunny hill. But in my lesson I did learn how to walk in skis, how to make a wedge, and how to push myself off. I didn't quite grasp the concept of turning (in either direction) and of controlling my speed and direction by putting pressure on one or both feet. I also kept leaning backwards, which is apparently a beginner's mistake. I fell a lot, but at least I didn't hit the fence like the other girl who never made it up a real hill. The two of us were the "ski lesson rejects" who had to stay behind and practice the basics while the rest of our group went up because they already got it all. I was kind of glad I didn't have to go up any hills. That, to me, is going to be the hardest part. I do not want to go down any hills. Not even the bunny hill!
I didn't get back on my skis after the lesson was over. Instead, I watched the rest of the good skiers confidently slide, turn, stop, and guide themselves. I realized then that I lack that key ingredient: confidence. In athletic situations, I always feel inadequate, probably because I never played any sports ever. I see now that I should have at least done something athletic when I was younger, because now I wish I had that confidence that comes from knowing your body can do new things when challenged.
But I don't hate skiing altogether. Maybe I should try cross-country skiing and see how that goes!
What I discovered two hours later was this:
1. Skiing is HARD WORK!!
2. Ski boots are not comfortable.
3. I am not a natural skier.
4. I didn't hate skiing, but I definitely am going to have to take baby baby steps to develop a love for it.
I didn't make it to the "magic carpet" and there was no way I was ready for even the bunny hill. But in my lesson I did learn how to walk in skis, how to make a wedge, and how to push myself off. I didn't quite grasp the concept of turning (in either direction) and of controlling my speed and direction by putting pressure on one or both feet. I also kept leaning backwards, which is apparently a beginner's mistake. I fell a lot, but at least I didn't hit the fence like the other girl who never made it up a real hill. The two of us were the "ski lesson rejects" who had to stay behind and practice the basics while the rest of our group went up because they already got it all. I was kind of glad I didn't have to go up any hills. That, to me, is going to be the hardest part. I do not want to go down any hills. Not even the bunny hill!
I didn't get back on my skis after the lesson was over. Instead, I watched the rest of the good skiers confidently slide, turn, stop, and guide themselves. I realized then that I lack that key ingredient: confidence. In athletic situations, I always feel inadequate, probably because I never played any sports ever. I see now that I should have at least done something athletic when I was younger, because now I wish I had that confidence that comes from knowing your body can do new things when challenged.
But I don't hate skiing altogether. Maybe I should try cross-country skiing and see how that goes!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Delaware Water Gap
The latest adventure on my journey to be a more experienced hiker was at Delaware Water Gap. This park is located on the New Jersey/Pennsylvania state line, and we hiked the "Blue Trail." This trail was about 2.5 miles to the top, and we hiked to the top and back down in about 3.5 hours. Lessons were definitely learned during this trip......
1. Hiking in the rain is not so bad for the first hour or so, then once your clothing becomes saturated, it can actually be quite miserable.
2. Never wear down-filled outerwear unless there is a water-proof layer over it.
3. When you are just starting a hike and you only see other hikers leaving, that's usually a sign to turn back!
4. Jeans are not good for hiking....waterproof and/or lined bottoms are a necessity.
5. Just because I do research on a topic, such as proper gear for hiking, doesn't mean I actually will follow it. I am one of those people who learn things the hard way, and then I see why the experts give the advice they give.
These lessons were learned the hard way. We left our apartment with cloudy skies, but not really expecting it to rain. Hence, we did not pack the "just-in-case" rain parkas and we didn't dress for rain at all. I wore a fleece hat and gloves, a down parka vest, a fleece long-sleeved top with a long-sleeved dry-fit top under that. I also had my beloved boots and my "outdoor" jeans on. These jeans have been with me for years, have patches from being worn so much, and are my go-to pants for any and all outdoor activities. Charlie had jeans, boots, a t-shirt and a fleece zip-up over that with a baseball cap. We had one backpack that we shared, packed with peanut butter sandwiches, apples, and two bottles of water.
We were thirty minutes away from our destination when it started to lightly sprinkle. After driving for over an hour, we didn't want to give up, so we decided to press on and just do it. We arrived, parked, and immediately were taken in by the beauty of this place. The trees seemed old, grand, and all-encompassing. We couldn't not go, so we braved the light precipitation and began our walk. Almost immediately we passed about five people who were leaving the trail, all wearing rain gear and all looking at us strangely, as if to say, "Who are these people and where is their rain gear?" We should have known then to turn around, but we were determined, stubborn, even. We kept going, and the sights before us were so amazing that the rain was forgotten. Pictures were taken and our breaths were taken away.
Then the hard part came - at least for me. The ascent is always a struggle, and I have to fight off the negative feelings that I can't go on, I can't breathe, my legs are too weak, etc. I deal with this every time I try to climb a mountain, and I wonder if some day I'll be able to get through this part and love it. Along the way I had to stop and pee, which was hard to do since there are no leaves on the trees to provide covering. I found a large log to crouch behind, and with business taken care of, we continued. We saw beautiful waterfalls and gorgeous green moss all along the way.
At some point early on, the trail became icy. We had to be careful not to slip, and the rain started to pick up somewhere around the same time. We reached the top and were almost blown off the mountain by arctic blasts and pelting rain. The view, which would normally have been astounding, was obscure at best - thick clouds and fog were blocking the view of the river. So, we began to feel miserable and we quickly turned back to descend the mountain.
This was when I realized that I should actually listen to the advice I've been reading, instead of brushing it off. My down parka was now soaked with rain, and it was now a soggy blanket on my back, providing no warmth. Did I mention the temperature was a balmy 33 degrees? My fleece gloves were soaked, making my hands chunks of ice. The fleece hat I was wearing had rain dripping off of the front of it. A small hole in my jeans had been systematically ripping and was now a good three to four inches in length. As I had no lining underneath, my bare skin was red, cold, and wet where the rip was. And my hair was like ice.
We made it down the mountain, thankful for the warmth of the car heater, and began the thawing process. It took me literally an hour before I could easily bend my fingers. With all of the mishaps on this hike, you would think I hated it. Quite the contraty, I loved it! Even in my misery, I was able to smile and laugh at how dumb we had been. We were definitely the only idiots dumb enough to take off on a five-mile hike without appropriate gear. But that's why I'm doing this - to learn and to grow. I learned a lot from the Delaware Water Gap, and I can't wait to take this knowledge and apply it on my next adventure!
1. Hiking in the rain is not so bad for the first hour or so, then once your clothing becomes saturated, it can actually be quite miserable.
2. Never wear down-filled outerwear unless there is a water-proof layer over it.
3. When you are just starting a hike and you only see other hikers leaving, that's usually a sign to turn back!
4. Jeans are not good for hiking....waterproof and/or lined bottoms are a necessity.
5. Just because I do research on a topic, such as proper gear for hiking, doesn't mean I actually will follow it. I am one of those people who learn things the hard way, and then I see why the experts give the advice they give.
These lessons were learned the hard way. We left our apartment with cloudy skies, but not really expecting it to rain. Hence, we did not pack the "just-in-case" rain parkas and we didn't dress for rain at all. I wore a fleece hat and gloves, a down parka vest, a fleece long-sleeved top with a long-sleeved dry-fit top under that. I also had my beloved boots and my "outdoor" jeans on. These jeans have been with me for years, have patches from being worn so much, and are my go-to pants for any and all outdoor activities. Charlie had jeans, boots, a t-shirt and a fleece zip-up over that with a baseball cap. We had one backpack that we shared, packed with peanut butter sandwiches, apples, and two bottles of water.
We were thirty minutes away from our destination when it started to lightly sprinkle. After driving for over an hour, we didn't want to give up, so we decided to press on and just do it. We arrived, parked, and immediately were taken in by the beauty of this place. The trees seemed old, grand, and all-encompassing. We couldn't not go, so we braved the light precipitation and began our walk. Almost immediately we passed about five people who were leaving the trail, all wearing rain gear and all looking at us strangely, as if to say, "Who are these people and where is their rain gear?" We should have known then to turn around, but we were determined, stubborn, even. We kept going, and the sights before us were so amazing that the rain was forgotten. Pictures were taken and our breaths were taken away.
Then the hard part came - at least for me. The ascent is always a struggle, and I have to fight off the negative feelings that I can't go on, I can't breathe, my legs are too weak, etc. I deal with this every time I try to climb a mountain, and I wonder if some day I'll be able to get through this part and love it. Along the way I had to stop and pee, which was hard to do since there are no leaves on the trees to provide covering. I found a large log to crouch behind, and with business taken care of, we continued. We saw beautiful waterfalls and gorgeous green moss all along the way.
At some point early on, the trail became icy. We had to be careful not to slip, and the rain started to pick up somewhere around the same time. We reached the top and were almost blown off the mountain by arctic blasts and pelting rain. The view, which would normally have been astounding, was obscure at best - thick clouds and fog were blocking the view of the river. So, we began to feel miserable and we quickly turned back to descend the mountain.
This was when I realized that I should actually listen to the advice I've been reading, instead of brushing it off. My down parka was now soaked with rain, and it was now a soggy blanket on my back, providing no warmth. Did I mention the temperature was a balmy 33 degrees? My fleece gloves were soaked, making my hands chunks of ice. The fleece hat I was wearing had rain dripping off of the front of it. A small hole in my jeans had been systematically ripping and was now a good three to four inches in length. As I had no lining underneath, my bare skin was red, cold, and wet where the rip was. And my hair was like ice.
We made it down the mountain, thankful for the warmth of the car heater, and began the thawing process. It took me literally an hour before I could easily bend my fingers. With all of the mishaps on this hike, you would think I hated it. Quite the contraty, I loved it! Even in my misery, I was able to smile and laugh at how dumb we had been. We were definitely the only idiots dumb enough to take off on a five-mile hike without appropriate gear. But that's why I'm doing this - to learn and to grow. I learned a lot from the Delaware Water Gap, and I can't wait to take this knowledge and apply it on my next adventure!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Deep Thoughts on Religion
Today I attended a funeral for my roommate's uncle. It was a Coptic Egyptian service, and going into it I didn't know what to expect. Over an hour later I walked away with a new perspective. What I took from the service was the image of a beautifully ornate church, rays of light streaming in through the windows, hearing familiar Bible passages sung instead of being spoken - and these same passages being quoted both in Arabic and Coptic. There were many unfamiliar aspects to the service, all of which spiked my curiousity about why and how these practices came to be. At the end of the service the casket was carried out of the church, and my roommate's aunt followed it with her arm outstretched and tears streaming down her cheeks. She had this look of desperate longing, like she knew this was the last time she would be that close to her husband again in this life. It brought stinging tears to my eyes. I started to think about what I would do and how I might possibly be able to cope if something happened to Charlie. Just the thought makes me freeze up mentally and emotionally. I can't comprehend, nor do I want to, the thought of facing life in such a solitary state. But that's not why I feel the need to express the effect the day has had on me.
I learned some things today that made me unable to stop thinking about "religion" and all the various facets of its existence. I learned that an orthodox coptic church has priests who sing passages from the Bible acapella. In the small Baptist churches I have attended, passages from the Bible are sung in the form of old hymns - with musical accompanying as the entire congregation sings. I found a sense of familiarity in hearing the Word spoken, even if it was in such a new-to-me manner. Another thing I not really learned, but came to a greater realization of, today is how differently each religion expresses their worship of God. Some denominations (like what I am used to) sing hymns and keep their worship to a relatively reserved level; others worship in a louder, livlier manner. Still others worship through time-tested, seemingly "subdued" manners. Until today, I never did fully understand how some of these methods have lasted. I only knew of my one way to praise my Savior, and I never gave much thought to how other methods could be just as glorifying to God. I see now that I, along with others just like me, have put God in this box that just happens to conform to what I believe to be Truth. God is so much bigger, greater, more all-emcompassing than that, though. Who am I to say that one style of worship is "better" or "more glorifying" to God than another? And who am I to judge how others happen to relate to The Almighty? I mean, aren't I doing the same thing that everyone else is doing by following what has been shown and taught to me my entire life? What if I'm missing out on some profound chance to get closer to God and know Him more by staunchly sticking to one style of worship? What if by unconsciously limiting my Savior I'm really only limiting myself? What if God has been patiently waiting on me to come to a greater understanding of Him, and this is only the beginning of that transformation?
There are so many questions I have about religion - my religion, the religions I am familiar with and those that I know nothing about. I do believe that I am on the cusp of coming to terms with portions of my inadequate knowledge of God and Religion, but I don't know if I will ever figure anything out once and for all - at least not in this lifetime. And maybe that's the way it's meant to be.
I learned some things today that made me unable to stop thinking about "religion" and all the various facets of its existence. I learned that an orthodox coptic church has priests who sing passages from the Bible acapella. In the small Baptist churches I have attended, passages from the Bible are sung in the form of old hymns - with musical accompanying as the entire congregation sings. I found a sense of familiarity in hearing the Word spoken, even if it was in such a new-to-me manner. Another thing I not really learned, but came to a greater realization of, today is how differently each religion expresses their worship of God. Some denominations (like what I am used to) sing hymns and keep their worship to a relatively reserved level; others worship in a louder, livlier manner. Still others worship through time-tested, seemingly "subdued" manners. Until today, I never did fully understand how some of these methods have lasted. I only knew of my one way to praise my Savior, and I never gave much thought to how other methods could be just as glorifying to God. I see now that I, along with others just like me, have put God in this box that just happens to conform to what I believe to be Truth. God is so much bigger, greater, more all-emcompassing than that, though. Who am I to say that one style of worship is "better" or "more glorifying" to God than another? And who am I to judge how others happen to relate to The Almighty? I mean, aren't I doing the same thing that everyone else is doing by following what has been shown and taught to me my entire life? What if I'm missing out on some profound chance to get closer to God and know Him more by staunchly sticking to one style of worship? What if by unconsciously limiting my Savior I'm really only limiting myself? What if God has been patiently waiting on me to come to a greater understanding of Him, and this is only the beginning of that transformation?
There are so many questions I have about religion - my religion, the religions I am familiar with and those that I know nothing about. I do believe that I am on the cusp of coming to terms with portions of my inadequate knowledge of God and Religion, but I don't know if I will ever figure anything out once and for all - at least not in this lifetime. And maybe that's the way it's meant to be.
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